Another one for my Lovelyy Readerss <3>
Dedication this to my Soul sister &Editor Darliam :* miss you babe
I just saw Dhari in the car. My eyes started questioning, where the hell is my brother? He rushed out of the car, head bandaged and I can see a bump on his shoulder. I stood in front of him shoved my I-pod earphones in my track pants pockets and left my hand freely by my side.
I took a few steps forward now I'm inches away. I managed to keep myself from him. I knew something was not right, something I don’t even want to know happened.
Me: what happened? (I managed the ask him the question)
I turned around. I didn’t want to see him like this. I knew Dhari was in pain. I guessed it was from all the bumps that were on his head and shoulder. A lot of question came into my mind “Wain okhoy?” and just before I took my first step forward to get into the building, he held my arm.
Dhari: la7'9aa
Me: wain 7amad? (I said in a shaky voice)
Dhari: ne6ray, 5alaiteeny at7acha?
He didn’t look like the normal Dhari … there was something different about him… it wasn’t just the bruises. There was something else he’s hiding. Something bigger.
Me: go ahead ....
Dhari: emshay foug
He walked behind me you can say he lead my way to the elevator. I leaned back on the wall of the elevator waiting for it to stop at our floor... The elevator door finally slid opened. We both walked to the nearest couch and he sat on it. I, on the other hand, sat on the mini table that was in front of dhari. He stretched his hands out and reached for my hands. He kept them between his.
He honestly confused me. He wanted to tell me something and I can see his mouth open but soon he closes it, not finding the right words to speak. He kept squeezing my hands. It made me more nervous.
I know he’s hiding something from me, and that's not good.
Me: dhaaary wain 7amaad? (I was about to cry)
Dhari: o55ooch …
Me: eshfeeeeh ?
Dhari: 3 a 6 a c h 3 o m r a
Me: mn 9ijy wain 7amad?
Dhari: ….
I felt like I was stabbed on my heart with a butler’s knife, that huge one with really sharp edges that cuts through my veins and arteries I could tell now that my eyes have turned into shades and pink and red, then soon you’d see those precious tears running down my cheek. He kept staring at me saying nothing … Words kept running through my head … is he serious! He can’t be … it must be one of his lame jokes. Guys always do that right? I started convincing my wits.
Me: Dharii please gooley wain 7amad?! He promised he’d be here by sunrise!
That’s when I couldn’t handle holding back my tears. I covered up my face and started to cry harder. He promised. His promises were never broken; promises were like pearls to him. This is not real…I’m dreaming
Dhari: ed3eeela sara
I kept sobbing I had no idea what to do or what to think … I can’t imagine my own brother is now dead … I wont hear his voice again, we wont argue or annoy each other like we used to.
I felt Dhari’s hand pull me closer to him. He stood up and pulled me so I could stand. He moved my hand away for my eyes and held them with one of his. My eyes were reddish he looked right through them as I saw my reflection in his own eyes. I felt Dhari’s pain. I knew he was feeling for than what I was feeling. He was his best friend.
Me: Dhari please … take me to him… I wanna see him (I managed to say between sobs)
Dhari: yalah (he sadly replied)
He walked me out of the apartment we got into the elevator then out the buzz door. Dhari took me to the passenger seat, opened the door, and I got in. He went over to his side looking down at his feet feeling down; I could sense it. He got in and drove to the hospital. My head was stuck to the window, while he had his right hand on the wheel and with the other he held his head and his elbow was stuck to the window in a way to keep his head still. It was a silent ride all I heard was his breathing, and a little bit of murmur, which I guessed was verses of the Holy Quran. About 20 minutes later, we got to the hospital parking lot. He parked then took a deep breath…
Dhari: yalah we9alna Sara
I turned his way and placed my left arm on the armrest in between the two of us. He placed his hands on mine squeezed it and got down, I was too down to even talk or think he came to my side opened the passenger’s door and helped me out. I tried to form a smile for his politeness but it couldn’t escape me. He placed his hand on my shoulder as we crossed the street to the main hospital door. He tried squeezing my shoulder but all I did was look down. The only working organ in my body was that organ moving my eyes, legs, and maybe my arms.
We got in. Dhari seemed to know our way. We took the stairs he took me into a room that had a huge window that showed who was inside but all I saw was a dead body covered till it’s rib cage I couldn’t see his head or neck I had to go in to see that because the wall was blocking my way. I got shivers all over my spine when I saw that dead body. It was the first time for me to see a dead. And this time its not any body it my own brother’s. I felt the world was closing down on me I couldn’t believe my eyes. I placed my left hand on the window while it slid on that window. I cried quietly imagining my life with out him…
Dhari: He needs your prayers right now tears won’t help …
he pulled me into a side hug and I moved my hands up and down his back trying to calm myself and him, though it didn’t do any good.
Dhari: (he kissed my forehead and said,) tdesheenla?
I nodded, he pulled my hand to the door pushed it open and lead me inside, he pushed a chair by the bed while I stood there hand on my mouth and tears streaming down my cheeks. I sat on the chair and started to cry watching him lying there without heartbeats or a rising chest that always proved to me that he was fine! I slid my arms under the sheets and held his hand…
Me: inta 5alaitny o re7t ya 7amad…3omry matekhayalt hal shay bas “8adar allah wa ma sha2a fa3al” hatha ely allah yabeeh mu beedna…shloon el7in bagool 7ag omy ink hadait-na? shloon bta5eth hal mawthoo3? Broo7ha wlhana 3alaik o wed-ha tshooofik laman akalimha blail…o ana mn wain blgaly o5o chethy methlik dayer bala 3alay e7ebny wa7eba inta wafayt o kafayt ya o5oy loo ghairek chan mahama hal ashya2… bas inta ghair 3an kl hal bashar inta galbik 9affy …ma3ana ,a 3esht ma3ak 6oul 3omry bas 3eraftlik eb ash-her(I read some of the verses I’m familiar with and sowar that I have memorized in those years I prayed for gods approval)
I kissed his forehead grabbed a tissue dried my tears covered Hamad’s head with the sheets and whispered…
Me: allah yer7umik eb ra7metaaa
I turned around and started walking out. Dhary was sitting on the benches head in his hands. When his eye landed on mine, he got up pushed the door open.
Then I walked out and sat on the benches tears running down my cheeks, while he went in for a few minutes, he came out head down and eyes turning red.
Longer isn't it ? like ?
